Restore Purity Blog

I have been challenged by someone I very much respect to place more of an emphasis on the consequences of sin in what I write rather than the grace, goodness and kindness of our God.
I believe my main audience is men like me who know and love our God, yet we have this tension within us where we are called to put to death our flesh daily. I very much can identify with my audience and want to be an encouragement to them to fight the good fight.
Are we personally responsible for any sin we commit? Yes! Yet, I believe my audience is very familiar with scripture and that they would not come to the Restore Purity site nor this Blog unless their intent is their own effort to become clean before our Father in Heaven. It is my prayer that our Holy Spirit leads many prodigals here. I have a concern that many who come here are ignorant or confused as to the difference between conviction and condemnation. Condemnation always comes with shame and self-hatred. It is the Holy Spirit who convicts us of sin and it is also our precious Holy Spirit who leads us to the cross of Jesus to be cleansed of sin. I do not want to err on the side of sloppy grace. Yet I believe most guys who come to my site have often beat themselves up with condemnation for failing to walk in obedience to God. What they need to hear and believe is that God is longing for them to receive His forgiveness and to see themselves as a beloved son of God. Believing one is bad and unworthy of being loved is one of the core beliefs of those struggling with sexual sin.

Below is a testimony of a guy who came in desperation to the Restore Purity site:

Mike,
I am overcome with thankfulness that I was able to find your contact and website online by googling “I do not want to be gay anymore.” The website speaks from the Father Heart of God and quickly identified me as the child of God that I am. The proclamations and videos had me understanding and confident in the real truth that God understood me in my pain and had the solution that broke through the lies and darkness in the place where I was. I do not think I have cried harder or proclaimed louder God’s promises in years. That said I am not even finished with this resource. I thank God for you that you have put this down in one place. It is a lifesaver and changer.
Mike I really mean this and I am holding back tears of gratitude. I do not know how I would have managed to overcome without this resource. 

                                                                                                                                              David

Because I can relate to the guys who love our God and yet struggle with sexual sin, it is my desire to encourage them towards holiness and obedience to our God — to learn to cooperate with and to yield to the leading of our precious Holy Spirit. Further, I want to provide some knowledge, understanding and some clarity as to where they are in their process and hopefully with that guidance. Scripture is clear concerning what we are to do with any sin within us and yet scripture is also clear that it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. Romans 2:4

Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness,
forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness
is intended to lead you to repentance?

So I walk a tightrope. Yes, I emphasize the love of our Father God, yet it is my hope and desire that I am being led of our Holy Spirit in the journey of my brothers in Christ towards purity and holiness and along with that, right standing with our Lord and Savior, Jesus.

Hello,

Mike how you been? I am well and have moved forward a lot. There’s just one thing. I don’t want to grieve the Spirit anymore. I feel that it’s holding me back. Not that I do it a whole lot, but well…. you know. Anyway it’s masturbating. (LOL) I hate it. Any prayer I can say or any idea what to do? Please help!

My response was -

Hi _________,

There are several reasons we do this, but our Father in Heaven, who is all present and all knowing, views you as His son, and he does not want you in bondage…in addiction.  My advice to you is First,  and this is the most important thing you need to do is, you need to control your mind, you need to as scripture says, “take captive” any lustful fantasies. This one issue is most likely the main reason why us guys fall in this way.  But if you find you are going to do it, choose to do two things differently; One, remove all lust when doing it, and then, after the fact, the second thing you need to do differently is; do not allow any self-hatred, nor any shame or condemnation. Stop all negative thoughts about yourself. Why?  Because you need to brake the cycle of  lust, then masturbation, then shame, condemnation and self-hatred.  The cycle needs to be broken.

How?

Now back to our Papa for the answer. He loves you and it is His Love for you that you are to focus on. Here’s something you can start doing to reinforce this truth. Whenever you find yourself in front of a mirror, look into your own eyes and say out loud to yourself, ” (your name), I love you, because my Papa in Heaven loves me!” DO THIS EVERY TIME YOU ARE IN FRONT OF A MIRROR! It is your Papa God’s love for you that will break any sin in your life and so it will be your passion towards your Papa that will cause you to be more than an over comer in this area within your life. Ask our precious Holy Spirit to help you break this habit. I would say that the battle consists of three parts: The first is your thought life, the second is self-hatred, shame and condemnation, and the third part is that you need help whenever tempted. Read and speak out often the first five pages of www.restorepurity.com, (“Identity as a Son”), at least daily, until you own these truths in your heart. I would challenge you that every time you fall into masturbation, you make a commitment to yourself to read three or four pages of this category “Identity as a Son.”  Your focus should not be that this issue will completely go away, that should not be your focus. Your focus should be a daily walk of holiness and purity. But if you do fall in this way in the future, you will no longer allow it to torment you with shame, condemnation or self-hatred.  As you remove any shame, condemnation or self-hatred, the frequency, the intensity of this issue in your life should greatly subside.

Also in the teaching section on the site, study the teaching on “Conviction or Condemnation,” for the reality is most guys don’t know the difference between the two. Plus the teaching also on “Repentance.” Repentance is actually very positive and brings many rewards as we rightly embrace it. It seems sometimes we need to repent 100 times a day. That is all right. Keep repenting!

Now what I just shared with you requires that you address this issue on your own. If that is not effective, then implement this next step. Get help from a brother or brothers in Christ… transparency. Do you have someone you trust? Someone you can receive prayer from concerning this? What do 1 John 1:7-9 and James 5:16 say? I received a testimony from a brother who was in bondage to this habit in his life, and he was completely delivered from it by way of seeking out prayer from brothers whom he trusted.

Your Papa God is proud of you for addressing this issue in your life. He loves you, _________, and is for you! Keep me posted on how you are doing.

Always your brother,

Mike

Hello Dear Friend,

I do hope you are doing well, and I am proud of you! Why we have this crazy issue in our lives, I don’t know. But I know that our Father God loves you, loves me. His love is far –far greater than our weaknesses and it seems He is not letting go of us! We may fail many times but He never calls us a failure. To Him failure is just an event in our life with very negative consequences. So in His eye’s we are not failures, we are His sons.

The devil wants us to “own” the identity of a failure, but we are not. We are sons of the living God, adopted by Him. He knew our weaknesses, our vulnerabilities when He adopted us and said “Nevertheless (place your name here), Mike, they are my sons. He is holding onto each of us far tighter than we are holding onto Him. Keep turning to Him, your Daddy, your Papa, and always remember, He always separates our failures from our sonship. In His eye’s our failures will pass, but being His sons – He plans on celebrating this reality throughout eternity. Just get use to this truth!   Remind the devil of it –then laugh at the devil – for this is why the devil hates us, is jealous of us. Wants to steal from us, destroy us, and if possible kill us.

The Bible talks about “power” in the preaching of the Gospel of Jesus. And it speaks about the “power” of the Cross of Jesus.  It talks about the “power” of the Holy Spirit in our lives. And of our God being “all powerful!” The “power” of a righteous man concerning prayer.  The power of our tongue. What I focus on at my website is the power of our identity as His sons (www.restorepurity.com). The truth is we need all these “powers” in our lives and as we stay close to Him, our precious Holy Spirit will teach us about each of these “powers!”

This sounds crazy but in a since we are to liken the Cross as a “shower,” a place to become clean and we are to go to the Cross as often as we need to be cleansed, again and again throughout the day whenever necessary, leaving our failures, our sins there.  This is what is expected of us, to always be clean before Him, that is one reason we have access to the Cross in our life. You know all these things but like with me it is good to be reminded often. But what will get you through any difficult time in your life is the “power” of His love for you!

Dear Brother, look into your Papa’s Eye’s. He loves you because you are His son! He understands you and is NOT giving up on you. He likes us, not some of the things we do but He likes us because when we are in our right mind we each uniquely remind Him of Jesus our awesome Brother. So dear brother, you have a certain character, a mannerism about you, that no one on the face of this earth has, nor has there ever been anyone like you before, nor will there be anyone like you in the future!  That is awesome!!!! And you have a way of loving Him, your Papa God.  And the fact is He plans on enjoying His Father/son relationship with you throughout eternity!

This is why I am so proud of you, The way you love our Papa God! It’s the only gift we can give Him, our love for Him!

Here’s a quote for you to meditate on.

Failure is an event, it is never my identity!

I am a son of the living God, this is my true identity.

This is how my Father God always relates to me.

This is how He always views me.

Mike Caven

Love your eternal brother,

Mike

I desire to be a support, a friend to you, to offer you hope without compromising my convictions. I can identify with the struggles you are dealing with, and the only resolve I want you to focus on is the goodness of our Papa God. He loves us and understands us. He knows that we are weak in this area of our lives. His word says in Isaiah 26:3 that He will keep us in perfect peace if our focus is on Him. Isn’t that what we want, what we need to replace our craziness with, some peace within. Talk with your Papa God, push back all shame and condemnation, your own negative thoughts. If you have sinned in someway go to the Cross of our Brother Jesus and bring that sin there and leave it there. Our Father God is bigger, more powerful – the Cross of Jesus is bigger, more powerful than any sin we have committed. Let our Precious Holy Spirit cleanse you again, and again, and again. Letting Him cleanse us over and over again is what will wash our sins away. Have a great day!

Love from your older brother, Mike

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean;

I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;

I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

And

I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees

and be careful to keep my laws.

Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors;

you will be my people,

and I will be your God.